Anatomical: Male, 6′3”, 195 pounds, brown hair, brown eyes, genetically 1.4% Neanderthal but otherwise firmly Homo Sapiens

Occupation: As of 9/11/23, telling short (and sometimes tall) tales about the issues and media myths of our day. See Mostly Myth for details.

Target Audience: News junkies who spurn fiction; navelgazers who spurn news

Services Offered: Vision enhancement; full brain massage (with the occasional happy ending)

Skills: Archaeological proficiency in literary arcana of late-20th century antiquity.

Religious Affiliation: Neo-Ancient Hellenic polytheist. Affiliate with believers and non-believers alike

Political Beliefs: Reject the politics of freedom fries. Opposed to authoritarianism except in own fiction, where despotic rule is the norm.

Philosophical Outlook: Bleak but closet bullish

Emotional Status: Variable, subject to atmospheric instabilities

Inspirational Quote: “The earth makes a sound as of sighs and the last drops fall from the emptied cloudless sky. A small boy, stretching out his hands and looking up at the blue sky, asked his mother how such a thing was possible. Fuck off, she said.” -Samuel Beckett